The Glorious Mess

Our campus pastor greeted us with enthusiasm. “Hagen’s! Great to see you! I saw that you signed up to lead a new community group. Aren’t you excited?” I looked at him and said, “No, I can’t say we’re excited.” After flatlining the conversation, I picked the engagement back up and continued. “But that’s ok. We’re viewing our signing up to lead a new group as an act of obedience, and trusting Christ with what will come of it.”

 

That was two years ago. In just the last year of the life of our church community group, not only did M pass away (see last month’s post), one of the couples in our group gave birth to a child with a serious and lifelong brain abnormality. Along the way, one single in the group, and then another, were engaged and married. Then there’s the regular weed-pulling we work through  together: job tensions and changes, aging and ailing parents, parenting challenges, dating struggles. Through it all, our motley group worships together, prays together, eats together. It is what one theologian refers to as, “a ‘live performance’ of faith however amateur and poorly produced it might be.”

 

Of course, our group is embedded in a larger family we call the local church. And like all families, there are things to attend to in order to maintain relational and organizational health. In the aftermath of M’s memorial service, one of our pastors unintentionally mishandled a situation that was offensive and hurt my wife and me. Tamarah and I had some options: not say anything, hold onto it, bear a grudge and withdraw emotionally, run him down behind his back, leave the church, forgive privately and cover it, or reach out to him to clarify and seek to be reconciled.

 

We assessed the incident at a level of needing a conversation, so I texted him to see if he’d be willing to talk. Thankfully, he was. After talking on the phone, he came over to our house and spoke with Tamarah and me. I had two hoped-for outcomes: the resolution of the offense, and the maintenance and forward conditioning of a good reputation for a young pastor half our age. On the first count, we successfully navigated biblical conflict resolution to mutual satisfaction. On the second count, he was grateful we were considering his future ministry effectiveness by using our crossed wires as a life lesson.

 

Why go to all the trouble? Because it’s what healthy families do. Or is it the other way around? To get to health, maintain it, and thrive, this is the good trouble that families purposefully engage in.

 

It gives me pause, then, when clients in my office indicate they are not involved, or only superficially, in a local church family. Counseling is individualistic and largely free from authority when there’s disagreement. Bible study groups can be communal, but I’ve never heard of one that practices church discipline and the sacraments of baptism, communion. Christian businesses might encourage their employees to participate in corporate devotions, but I don’t know of one that sings and worships together.

 

It was Cyprian, a third-century bishop, who said, “No one can have God as Father who does not have the church as Mother.” The symbolism is widely accepted and significant. From cradle to grave, God’s instrument of care and flourishing for His people is neither a secular government nor a self-directed autonomy but a called-out community of those who worship and serve Christ together.

 

When Moses was called to lead Israel out of Egypt, he repeatedly told Pharaoh to let the Hebrews, as a group, go out to the desert to “worship and serve” the Lord. When Pharaoh finally relented after all the plagues, Moses didn’t say, “Hey, fellow Hebrews, y’all are on your own getting to the Promised Land. Pharaoh’s ticked, so good luck getting out of here, let alone through the wilderness. Hope to see you on the other side!”

 

No, God’s people travel through this pilgrim life as a variegated group, not as individuals. We worship and serve together, just as God’s people have always done. That rubs against those of us who are prone to introversion or are self-sufficient or lazy. But it’s God’s wisdom that goes far beyond a nice recommendation: “Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful. And let us watch out for one another to provoke to love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching” (Hebrews 10:23-25).

 

When I texted this young pastor later to ask him for permission to tell this story, he texted back, “Absolutely, man. Use away. You can be as honest as you want. I’m happy to let others know what God has been doing. Even when it reveals how broken I am.” To which I texted back, “You just put a smile on my face. Not so much because I can use that story but because your willingness to humbly share your humanity confirms my belief that you’re a man of integrity who I can trust. Thanks for being that man!”

 

The following Sunday, it was both faith-affirming and confidence-building to follow the young pastor’s lead in worshiping the Christ who made us, put us together, and helps keep us together.

 

Because God’s people won’t be privately streaming corporate worship from their heavenly homes.