Champion of the World (Part 2)

Megan is in a difficult place. She’s been married to Jared for twelve years and they have two children. Jared and Megan agreed that when they began having children that Megan would stay home to care for and begin educating the kids. Megan loves being a mother and is grateful for the opportunity to be present for her daughter and son.

Meanwhile, Jared feels the weight of providing for his family and is increasingly stressed by his work responsibilities. He’s been promoted, which was timely since the growing family is stretched financially. With that promotion, however, comes greater expectations from his employer. Jared is working longer hours, including a few overnight trips each month. To cope with the pressure, Jared’s gone from drinking an occasional margarita after he gets home to frequently drinking several in one night. Megan’s tried to engage Jared and made some attempts at addressing her overall concerns for him, but he’s largely discarded her worries as invalid and overreacting.

Megan is feeling increasingly lonely and detached from Jared. She’s doing everything in her power to hold herself and the family together. It’s exhausting. One day, on the way out of the building where her kids attend co-op two days a week, Caleb, who teaches math and science to the students, complimented Megan on the work she’s doing in educating her kids. Megan was caught off guard and felt her face flush. By the time she got to the car, she was afraid Caleb noticed her red-faced reaction. Yet his compliment felt good. To complicate matters, Megan couldn’t remember the last time Jared had genuinely complimented her on anything.

Setting Jared and his issues aside, I want to take this fictional case study and map last month’s edition onto Megan. She’s in more immediate trouble, and I would want to encourage her where she is and for what lies ahead. That said, let me take some space to frame the theological truth that underlies the application for Megan.

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I’ve worded the subtitle of this two-part series as, “His life for Your Life, and Your Life for His.” In Part 1, I focused on His life for your life by describing what God did in Christ to bring us into union with him. In this part, I’m focusing on what it can look like when a Christian gives his or her life back to God as a living sacrifice.

To refresh Part 1, I took the Bible’s description of Israel being “in David” at the defeat of Goliath to illustrate what it means for Christians to be “in Christ” when Jesus defeated Satan, sin, and death at Golgotha. Perhaps the most well-known Scripture verse that captures a Christ-follower being united to Christ is Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (NKJV).

“If you are in Christ, this is now the defining truth of who you are. Your life, your story, becomes enfolded by another story—Another’s story. That’s one way to define faith: faith means finding your identity in Christ” (Rankin Wilbourne, Union with Christ, p. 47). Further, one of the primary ways being “in Christ” is different than being “in David” is that Jesus wins by losing. The path to glory for Jesus, from start to finish, was that of a suffering servant (Isaiah 52:13-53:12).

Jesus did all of that suffering as our substitute, and we love him for it. That is, until he says, “follow me.” The true path to glory in God’s kingdom involves suffering. This is hard to hear, so he gives us promises of his covenant love, his Spirit’s abiding presence and sustaining grace, along with a future where we reign with him. Out of context but still applicable, “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40, ESV).

It may help to know that not all suffering is the same. To suffer like Jesus does not mean we must physically be nailed to a tree, nor that we need to be stoned like Stephen or persecuted like Paul. When looking at the topic of suffering in the Bible, we find differing categories. There is suffering because of the Fall (e.g., diseases and natural disasters); there is suffering that is a consequence of personal sin (e.g., addictions and broken relationships); there is suffering that is the result of persecution for one’s faith; there is suffering that is either refining or formative; then there is suffering that defies neat categories and is not fully accessible to our understanding.

What all suffering has in common is a sense that something is wrong. Whether it’s bodily affliction, emotional distress, existential dread, social alienation, or some other dimension of daily living that is negatively affected, there is an experience of uninvited and unwelcome pain.  

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Now let’s get back to Megan. There is yet another category of suffering in Christian living that theologians refer to as participatory suffering. This kind of suffering is rooted in our union with Christ in that we somehow share in Christ’s sufferings while he also enters into our sufferings. For example, “If we die with him, we will also live with him. If we endure hardship, we will reign with him” (2 Timothy 2:11-12a, NLT). “But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering” (Romans 8:17, NLT). See also 1 Peter 4:12-19 and Colossians 1:24 in the same vein.

Would any of this apply to Megan, and if so, what would it look like in her current situation?

First, Megan can practice forgiving Jared. I’m classifying forgiveness as a form of participatory suffering in that Christians forgive because we’ve been forgiven. And for Jesus to forgive us, it cost him dearly. Some treat forgiveness in purely transactional terms. As if simply saying the magic words, “I forgive you,” does the trick. This is certainly not what Jesus did.

Since Jared is not asking for Megan’s forgiveness, she will suffer by practicing the private forgiveness of Mark 11:25. This will keep Megan’s conscience clear and is preparatory for the day, if and when, Jared repents of his attitude and behavior and asks for forgiveness. Until then, Megan will likely need to forgive Jared regularly and in faith before the Lord. Like Jesus paying our debts against him, Megan will pay the relational debts that Jared is accruing against her through his neglect.

Second, Megan can practice the virtue of longsuffering toward Jared. (Think of longsuffering as exceptional patience.) Let’s say Jared, for any number of legitimate reasons, is not as spiritually mature as Megan. His walk is slower and his growth trajectory is lower. Megan acknowledges Jared is growing in some ways but not in others. Jared’s inconsistency is hard on her and the kids. As Megan remembers the longsuffering of Jesus toward her (1 Peter 3:17-20, NKJV), she is then better able to “walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:1-2, NKJV). 

Finally, Megan can participate in the sufferings of Jesus by resisting sin and temptation. Megan will need to guard her heart when thinking about and crossing paths with Caleb. Whether Caleb was just giving an honest compliment to Megan or whether he’s angling for something more, Megan will suffer by denying herself speculative thoughts and emotions when Caleb comes to mind or sight. Due to Jared’s neglect, Megan needs to recognize she’s in a vulnerable position.

“When you see trouble coming, don’t be stupid and walk right into it—be smart and hide” (Proverbs 22:3, CEV). This is not to say Megan can’t be polite and civil when interacting with Caleb at co-op. It doesn’t have to be weird or awkward. He’s a Christian brother, after all. But she will need to check it and keep it there.

Unlike Jesus, “in your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood” (Heb. 12:4, ESV). But Christians do struggle against sin. “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name” (1 Pt. 4:16, ESV).

None of this will be simple, quick, or easy for Megan. In fact, Megan will struggle unnecessarily if she has anyone in her life to antagonize the situation. On the other hand, Megan will be helped along the way if she has a seasoned Christian community for support and encouragement.

Because “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).