Failing versus Falling Short (Part 2)

In last month’s post, I contrasted two ways of responding internally to when we sin. I used a fictional character named Tom who has an anger problem. Tom has lost it one too many times, and now he’s seeking help. Part of Tom’s problem is how he views his sin and what the process of change should look like. I drew two lists on my white board, and showed Tom that his thinking in the left column does not lead to life and health. There is another, better way to think and process, which I illustrate on a right column. The steps on each path, comparatively speaking, look like this:

 

   FAIL      FALL SHORT

   FINAL       RECOVERY

   FAILURE                CHILD

   SHAME                   HONOR

 

To pick up from where I left off last time, I would say to hypothetical Tom that in contrasting the FAILING versus FALLING SHORT illustration there are two ongoing realities in a Christian’s life: our sin and God’s grace. Both realities vie for our life and are more powerful than we can control. However, the very real presence of sin and grace are not equal truths—at least in terms of their moral weight.

 

The Apostle Paul is obstinately clear that God’s grace is greater than our sin (Romans 5:15-21). It’s not even close. As I go through each day, I decide to which of these two realities I’m going to give more time and significance. My sin? Or God’s grace? This is not to deny or make light of sin in my life; it’s about living out my life in the joy of God’s provision in light of the depth of my sin. Our spiritual forefathers would say things like, “For every look we take at our sin, we should take ten looks at Christ.”

 

On my white board, I leave a space under the words SHAME and HONOR to indicate that I’m going to repeat this initial list with another list that communicates the same process but in another way of saying it. I write SIN in the left column, and across from that in the right column I write the word GRACE.

 

If Tom isn’t growing in understanding and valuing God’s grace, and yet knows and feels the guilt of his having gone off on his wife, he will likely do what his flesh (the as-yet unredeemed part of our lives) instinctively tells him: pay for the sin himself. We call that penance. Now, under the word SIN, I write the word PENANCE. Tom might try things like saying, “I’m sorry” and get busy being nicer around the house. But none of that actually softens his wife’s heart or assuages Tom’s conscience. Why? Because with penance it’s never enough. Never enough niceness. Never enough sorrow. Never enough effort. And that leads to some very negative emotional and psychological maneuvers.

 

But if Tom is growing, however imperfectly, in understanding and internalizing God’s grace over his sin, then he will move into what the Scriptures call repentance. Paul tells Titus that, “the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. [God’s grace] teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age” (Titus 2:11-12 NIV). Please think for a while about this and pray it into your soul. It’s the promise of God’s grace, not the threat of God’s justice, that moves God’s people to turn from our sin and toward our Savior. Paul echoes this when he writes that, “the kindness of God leads you to repentance” (Romans 2:4). On my white board, I now write REPENTANCE under the word GRACE.

 

I say to Tom something like, “It’s possible you’ll always struggle with anger to some degree. Me too. Let’s not make the goal the complete defeat of all anger in our lives. I’ll teach you skills and strategies to manage the triggers and your environment. But to the degree you believe and internalize God’s kindness to you in Christ, you will increasingly gain mastery over your temper. You won’t be “trying harder” to not be so angry; instead, the growing sense of His love for you will more and more displace your need for control. A developing gratitude of God’s forbearance of your sin and weakness will generate a growing patience for others when they don’t live up to your expectations. This is what Christian growth and maturity looks like on the inside. And I’m happy to be doing it with you.”

 

As I write this post, it’s Reformation Day. In that spirit, this is how Martin Luther said it: "This life, therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished, but it is going on. This is not the end, but it is the road; all does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified” (Defense and Explanation of All Articles).

 

My white board now looks like this:

 

   FAIL     FALL SHORT

   FINAL      RECOVERY

   FAILURE     CHILD

   SHAME                HONOR

 

   SIN        GRACE

   PENANCE             REPENTANCE

 

I have two more words to add under each of these two columns, but I will save that for next month. I’ll only note that the words on the left side become more hellish while the concepts on the right side look more and more like heaven. On what side would you rather live?

 

Because in God’s family our sin does not have the last word in defining us, the beautifying grace of Christ does.